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[翻译] 变3电影改编小说摘录

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16#
发表于 2011-5-18 21:10:14 | 只看该作者
回复 16# 霹雳大铁锚

有几个句子翻得很出彩,譬如:

“曾经头顶的天空是明澈无云的蔚蓝。”

“科技的进步因超越其他任何种族的认知而闻名。而它的进步不仅局限于科学,艺术同样被视为瑰宝。塞伯坦的子民书写了无数诗篇……来歌颂他们祖先的伟大成就。”

“它们爆成了两团火球,四散飞射的碎片直接穿透了第三架战机,使它失去了行动能力。它翻转着撞向一座高塔,机身弯折在塔尖上发出刺耳的金属摩擦声。”

“然后我就认出了剩下的那个狂派战士,希望再次被惶恐占据。”


不过你所说OP的‘怒火’和‘对自己能力的正确评估’在原文中鲜有体现。从结尾可以看出,全篇想表达的就是他对这场灾难无能为力的懊恼和极度的失望。
17#
发表于 2011-5-18 21:17:29 | 只看该作者
个人认为……Prime第一人称叙述的段落翻译之后和原文在叙述口气上有了一些差异。原文虽然说是充满绝望,但P ...
霹雳大铁锚 发表于 2011-5-18 15:44


有两处的翻译有误,

一是‘I start running, desperate to keep the larger air- craft in sight and perhaps provide aid if it is remotely possible.‘这里的if it is remotely possible 指‘哪怕有那么一点点可能性’。二是‘The blast tears off a stabilizer’ 在说飞行器的时候stabilizer指的是水平尾翼。
18#
发表于 2011-5-18 21:30:37 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 drifty 于 2011-5-18 21:33 编辑

回复 16# 霹雳大铁锚


    另外说一点个人的浅见。英文和中文的结构存在着一些本质上的区别,英文中一些必要的从句和修饰语在汉语中可以适度省略,以保证文章的通顺和精炼。句子的排列顺序也不一定要依照原文。

譬如‘Starscream locks on and fires. A single pulse from his cannon catches the aft wing of the fleeing ship. 红蜘蛛瞄准然后开火了,一道脉冲击中了逃离中的飞船的尾翼。’这句中,‘然后开火了’在中文里可以作为潜台词省略,因为下一句就出现了‘一道脉冲’,而‘逃离中的’在英文中只是一个词fleeing,翻成中文则略显啰嗦,省掉也无不可。

而像‘I should have known better.我早该明白。’这样翻显得很突兀,可以改为‘我早该明白那是不可能的。’而原译中‘那不过是一厢情愿罢了’虽然不是逐词翻译,但符合原句的意思,与上下文的衔接也更紧密。
19#
发表于 2011-5-19 09:34:30 | 只看该作者
回复  霹雳大铁锚

有几个句子翻得很出彩,譬如:

“曾经头顶的天空是明澈无云的蔚蓝。”

“科技的 ...
drifty 发表于 2011-5-18 21:10


唔,并不是说原文中有任何字句体现了“怒火”或者“正确评估”,而是基于对人物的理解以及阅读原文时对人物的口气大致上的感觉,个人觉得在翻译的时候需要把人物性格考虑进去。比如SS离开之后的OP的心里活动,看原文时并不觉得大哥有沮丧到认为“他不屑与我交手”的程度,这样未免妄自菲薄,而是有点悲怒交加地抓狂“他连下来决斗的面子都不给”。再者就是大哥是个说话很朴实的TF,他的对白一般不用字典都能看懂,让人感觉到诚恳和亲切,所以我觉得最好还是不要用许多“太美”或“太大”的措辞来翻译他的独白,毕竟他自己是不相信空洞口号的,咱不能把他说话翻得像是说教。
我的英文水平就只有这个程度了,错处还是难免的,感谢drifty指出,我会把it is remotely possible这处修改过来。stabilizer我在翻的时候也考虑了一下,如果是飞机那肯定是指水平尾翼无疑了,但显然大型飞船是作为空间旅行工具来设计的,在没有大气的环境下旅行的飞行器并不是依靠水平尾翼来保持平衡,因此我还是倾向保留自己的看法。或者会不会有其他更适合的词来代替?
关于适度省略的问题我赞成drifty的观点,这个就属于译者各自的风格不同,只要整体意思贴近原作即可。我个人是更倾向于将阅读原作时感觉精彩的部分一一在中文中找到尽量对应的表述,这样读者在阅读译文时能够最大限度感觉到原作的亮点。不过翻译本来就是一个再创作的过程,不同的人对同一篇文章的观感也各自不同,这里也仅是拿出自己的来跟大家交流而已,能够从各位身上学到东西,已感觉受益匪浅。
20#
发表于 2011-5-19 12:34:41 | 只看该作者
回复 20# 霹雳大铁锚


虽说我还是找不到OP的怒气(连他自己都觉得更可能被SS干掉),不过“他连下来决斗的面子都不给”这个译法是好过“他不屑与我交手”。

至于用词嘛,说实话我现在回想一下,当时翻后半段的时候(炮姐翻的前一半)确实是往婉转悲凉的方向靠。一方面是这篇文章有些触动我的地方,另一方面大概是最近有点沉溺于OP的小受形象(汗),不知不觉就把这种倾向带到译文中来了。这么做到头来是把自己的心情强加给读者了。

stabilizer 我又斟酌了一下,同意你的看法,译为稳定器比较符合宇宙飞船的设定。
21#
发表于 2011-5-19 17:19:07 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 霹雳大铁锚 于 2011-5-19 17:39 编辑

嗯……好吧,原文是这样:
Either he is worried that I would destroy him or, more likely, he is arrogantly convinced that he would destroy me.
arrogantly:傲慢自大地。convinced:深信。
所以我觉得整句话的中心意思是推测SS的想法而不是评估两人的实力(按照电影设定来说OP打不打得过小红实在是没什么悬念的,丛林之战1V3啊)。因此这句话的意思应该更接近于“比起怕被我干掉来他更可能是自大地认为可以把我干掉”,这推测也很符合SS心比天高的性格和行事风格。如果翻译成“觉得自己更可能被SS干掉”那就变成自认实力不如SS,“arrogantly convinced”也就无从说起了。自信和怒火其实也就透露在这俩词儿上,缘于对自己的实力有数,他觉得SS过于托大了;而之所以会特别在意敌人的无礼,也就是因为刚刚经历的失败让满腔怒火无从发泄啊(“有种下来打啊你丫不是觉得你能干掉我吗小样的你要是敢下来看我怎么拆你啊”类似这样的心情)。其实很多时候,大哥还是挺破落户的呵呵。如果他只是一个惹人怜惜的小受,是没法带着弟兄走过900万年黑暗的。
无论如何,感谢drifty辛苦汉化了这么多的TF作品,期待再看到各位的佳作。
22#
发表于 2011-5-21 22:16:57 | 只看该作者
回复 22# 霹雳大铁锚

虽然Either ... or ...是并列句式,但是因为有more likely,所以后面部分的语气明显比前面强烈很多。
这样看来,“要么……要么……”的句式结构就显得有点死板了。
23#
发表于 2011-5-22 22:49:48 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 sunny13 于 2011-5-23 12:11 编辑

小说剧透情报更新:
首先值得庆贺的是DOTM小说已出,第二值得庆贺的是TFW来了个非常欢乐的剧透线人,第三值得庆贺的是他补完了包括结局在内的各种便当详情>~<建议结合漫画版主线剧透共同观看。
http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-movie-discussion/406761-dotm-official-novel.html

便当神话的相关情报简翻(5/23论坛直播更新),惯例的防误伤反白



















永远缅怀伟大的阶级战士铁叔
the reason they can't bring ironhide back is the sentinel shoot him with his acid rust cannon dissolving ironhide into a liquid metal puddle

铁叔不能复活的原因是……SP的锈蚀射线炮把前者跟TFA BLURR一样削成了TF棍orz

的终末
skids and mudflap are in the book skids dies by jumping in the way of sentinel's blast to save bumblebee he says sorry to mudflap for not been that smart then his chest dissolves and his head fall off then the rest of him dissolves mudflap get angry and tells the rest of the autobots to get out of there say that this basterd is mine run at sentinel , sentinel calmly shoot him but mudflap duck and kick sentinel in the back of the knee bringing him down then he jumps on top of him and start to punch him furiously then sentinel put his cannon to mudflaps mouth and shoot him mudflap start to dissolve from the inside out then falls and dies

小说版双子的便当为漫画提供了更加伤感的细节佐证……Skids为保护BBB被御总枪杀,最后留给Mudflap的遗言是“抱歉,其实偶没有自己说的那么聪明”。愤怒的Mudflap要其他人退开,吼着要和御总单挑复仇扑了上去。虽然一度躲开炮火并成功推倒了凶手一次,但NPC和最终BOSS的战力差依然天上地下毋庸置疑,倒地的御总用腐蚀射线炮口堵住骑在他身上狂殴中Mudflap的嘴开火,他倒下和兄弟一同死去。
(这段的小说版既血腥又感人,观看剧透的TFW众纷纷脱帽起立,向这两只最后时刻挽回尊严的前搞笑角色默哀和致敬……说起来买拷贝应该不会拍这段吧- -b)


爱因斯坦桑的最期
wheeljack was bringing up the rear and suddenly there was a violent shaking and before anyone could react a huge crevice split the earth creating a chasm directly in front of wheeljack he cut hard to the right but momentum had him unable to regain control he jumped the barriers and headed straight into the chicago river in midair he shifted back to his robot form and then he plummeted into the water and disappeared beneath the surface.
wheeljack feels more foolish than anything else as he sinks to the riverbedand lands his feet kicking up a clound of silt. he reacted like a car instead of an autobot disguised as a carhe had been caught off guiard and has wound up looking like a right fool because of it once he has his footing solid he begingsto move towards the shore it should not take more than a few moments for him to then the water begins to swirl around him he look behind him in front of him and either side deceptions are converging upon him he unleashes fire in all directions but in the water the blast are slowed while the decepticons move even more quickly easily avoiding his attacks then they are upon him bearing him down to the dirt he fights back furiously and at close range he plasts apart one of the decepticons but then two more are upon him to take its place his last thought before final darkness falls upon him is that he should have come up with a more efficint means for the others to carry weapons.
the autobot look for him only for ratchet to point out in alarm at the river. bloody hell saids topspin large pieces of what had once been wheeljack floated to the surface one by oneand then several at a time

(WARNING:#¥%&#*&……虽然阿千的死法听起来真的很蠢- -||,但这真的不是伪剧透)
简而言之,在芝加哥大决战中,阿千乌龙地失足掉进金融区中心的河里。然后(在河底淤泥和岸上虎子们攻击的共同作用下)……淹死了rzzz
科学家最后的想法是“下次应当为其他人开发出更方便携带的武器”。医官和上旋想起来找人的时候,只看到了河中一片片浮上来的残骸。
(真是悲伤又廉价的恐怖片场景orz

声波PAPA的末日
when autobot get captured by soundwave leadfoot managed to get freed but soundwave promptly unleasheds a blast from his sonic cannon blowning leadfoot right leg clean off
after wheelie crushes the ship bumblebee get free and this happends bumble brings his arms around as soundwave aims his sonic cannon it is an old fashinged cowboy shodown and bee wins the draw he fires at soundwaves torso cutting it in haft soundwaves top half lynig on its back flipped-over continues to struggle determined to fight back bee places his cannon to soundwaves head time...to ...die bumblebee manages to say and fires at point blank range

大决战后大批轮子被波PA俘获。Wreckers之一的神行太保(Leadfoot)试图逃走时,冷血典狱长波PA干脆的开枪炸掉了前者的右腿。
转轮劫船撞进狂派监狱,重获自由的BBB与波PA同时间拔枪,上演了一出TF版牛仔对决。不幸的是,最终波PA落败,被BBB炸成了两截。波PA的上半身仍在挣扎着试图还击,胜者BBB用武器抵住波PA的头说出了不卖萌的第一句话“快去死”(雾),近距离爆头。

反逆的SS458的陨落
In the Junior novel (probably the same as in the full novel) Starscream blows up the Xantium as it tries to leave earths atmosphere. Before this however it jettisons two boosters which turn out to be escape pods. The autobot's departure being a rouse so they have the element of surprise for when they all arrive in Chicago and save Sam and epps from getting killed by a decepticon drone.

sam couldn't believe it for once things were going their way suddenly mirage was yanked upward off his feet looming behind him was starscream one arm across mirage's chest and the other across his neck immobilizing him run mirage managed to get out. i never had much patience for you starscream said to mirage you were the one who preferred hiding to fighting you should have stayed hidden with bone quick twist he ripped mirage's head clear of his shoulders then tossed the head aside, allowing the lifeless body of the autobot to slump over

小说补完了预告片和漫画之间的情节铺垫:OP向碳基道别后登上雷霆拯救队建造的太空船玄黄号(Xantium),打算遵照SP对人类的要求离开地球自我流放,然而飞船正要离开大气层时被埋伏的小红击落。飞船爆炸前OP和博派众人乘坐逃生舱降落,意外的在芝加哥着陆,更加意外地拯救了被虎子追杀的萨姆和Epps。OP率众开车进入城市,惨烈的芝加哥大决战随后开始。


萨姆目睹幻少被小红按倒在地(!),以十字固定式扭住脖子,小红不屑的发话“你不是喜欢躲起来打游击么,那么就维持着隐身去死吧”然后揪下了幻少的脑袋。
(此处和漫画剧透不同,漫画中对幻少施斩首刑的刽子手是波PA,不过……殊途同归ORZ(同时本段再次印证了DOTM ACGM的多支线GAL模式)当然,按漫画的好处是:随后凶手小红就被萨姆近身打脸斧头砍死了囧)




被虐杀的大波波
nest will try to fight of shockwave intill prime comes and punches shockwave so hard that he breaks his jaw shockwave tries to shoot prime but prime drives his sword through shockwave than he pull hes eye out and cruch it beneath his foot he uses shockwave cannon to shoot down the anchor pillar then cut shockwave in two vertically with his sword

比漫画版更H更暴力的OP让大波比漫画版死得更没有面子,打脸挖光镜抢武器菜刀分尸一气呵成,这绝对是奎爷上身的战神版QTE吧,绝对是吧玄田叔……ORZ

最终兵器彼男SP
sentinel seem to be a bad ass in the final battle he beated the crap out of optimus more like three time through the movie
to the point the optimus said that his body doesn't repond to it commands intill megatron comes and helps optimus out at his point sentinel beat the .... at of both of them no problem they try to take him down but everytime they down him as they try to stand up his already standing up in front of them waiting to beat the crap out of them they only beat him by using sentinel acid rust cannon against him

月老SP从加入我方到逆袭逃脱前后能力数值都不降反升,全篇中相继用各种方式胖揍吃饱了经验值的OP至少三次,而且每次凶残度都打到让现任领袖生活不能自理orz在MEGA的最终战回忆录中描述,因为剧本要求跑去帮OP补魔的自己也被揍的很惨,最后两只不得不见龙卸甲合力下掉了SP的大杀器才勉强用QTE取胜……

TF3大结局
megatron tells optimus that his tired of fighting and endless war and tell optimus to either let him go and try to rebuilt cybertron or to kill him
optimus said that he will not destroy him because he is not like him and megatron replies when i do return to cybertron and when i do make things right i willl send for you ans yoursand we will once again have a home.
megatron leaves to rebuild cybertron optimus stays behind on earth sending this message
in any war, there are calms between the storms. there will be days when we lose faith. days when our allies turn agaist us... but the day will never come when we forsake this planet and its people.for i am optimus prime, and i send this message to the universe: we are here. we are home.

MEGA回赛星装修房子,OP留地球争取绿卡,即使回老家结婚的童话没有立刻实现,未来和平幸福美满的大团圆结局依然可以期待,《TF3:基友英雄传》完美收官,可喜可贺可喜可贺。
两只的和谐对话就留给MOP团当撒糖福利不翻译了XD
24#
发表于 2011-5-22 23:24:20 | 只看该作者
要开始赛星社会主义现代化建设了吗?
25#
发表于 2011-5-23 09:27:09 | 只看该作者
俺觉得这结局是在给老威东山再起制造机会啊……= =
“never stop at one”,所以咱们可以继续期待TF4了吧。
26#
发表于 2011-5-24 15:25:27 | 只看该作者
俺觉得这结局是在给老威东山再起制造机会啊……= =
“never stop at one”,所以咱们可以继续期待TF4了吧。 ...
霹雳大铁锚 发表于 2011-5-23 09:27

TFW流言买拷贝已经开始准备新的三部曲了,还说要换掉碳基男主ORZ
http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-news-rumors/407382-transformers-4-could-happen-michael-bay-but-no-shia.html

另外才发现这次DOTM的周边真是多,小说还分低幼版和成人完全版的XD
http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-movie-discussion/407395-junior-novel-out-too.html


低幼版小说的新版剧透交代了一下OP跟前美帝宇航员的和谐交流,以及MEGA和小红的战前策划。但最重要的果然还是大结局的这句XD
[quote]
Optimus is fighting Sentinel, when Carly convinces Megatron that is Sentinel wins Megatron will end up being his servent. So Megatron joins Prime in defeating Sentinel. Sentinel gets shot in the chest with his own "cosmic rust" blaster. And Megatron call Optimus "brother" again.
[/img]

一切怨念都圆满了,欢快跑走><
27#
发表于 2011-5-24 19:12:29 | 只看该作者
这结局。。。实在太过和谐,把我的眼都晃瞎了。
期待老威与OP过上没羞没臊的生活。
28#
发表于 2011-5-24 19:20:29 | 只看该作者
看机设的时候都没看出来SP如此强大,MOP果然是众望所归
29#
发表于 2011-5-24 22:21:56 | 只看该作者
淹死了。。。。我头像情何以堪。。。。
30#
发表于 2011-5-24 23:40:48 | 只看该作者
绝不接受SS的死...而且还是死在人类手上..SS就算要死.也只能是威总下手
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